Apples of Gold

Did anyone here fight dysania[1] an hour or so ago? I hope the cause was not uhtceare[2] over any tendency you might have to perendinate,[3] or over abligurition[4] because last night’s dinner mate turned out to be a lanspresado.[5] I trust that any dysania did not arise from your being philo­­­gro­­bil­ized.[6] Perhaps you were only grufeling,[7] which, of course, is perfectly understandable.

A farrago[8] of forces frequently forestalls our feli­city and forces us to feel, at best, frobly-mobly.[9] For example, occasional­­ly shivviness[10] may assail our senses. Or grum­ble­tonians[11] may surround us, decrying our country as a kakisto­cracy[12] of snullygos­ters[13] and ultracrepi­dari­ans[14] who do naught but fud­gel,[15] twat­tle,[16] yield to every cacoethes[17] that assails them, and suborn[18] others to do the same….

Words are fun. Perhaps these paragraphs introduced you to a few new friends. But they can be more than light-hearted acquaintances. God has chosen words as his way to talk to us. We would do well, then, to study scripture closely so that we accurately assess the precise nuances of the Bible’s words, and avoid the errors that flutter batlike around its pages.

Likewise, our own speech should be clear, concise, and correct, so that we communicate only and exactly what we want. No need to try to impress our hearers with five-dollar words when ten-cent ones will do; if we try that, people often roll their eyes and walk away. But we can (and should) pursue precision and memorability. The Bible urges these: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” “Not only was the Teacher wise, but he also imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many

proverbs. The Teacher searched to find just the right words.” “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word appropriately spoken.” “By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Yahweh.”

So … forget the goobledegook of the opening paragraphs (except perhaps “fudgel.” Isn’t that a great word?). But let us nevertheless always try to speak a clear word about a clear Christ.

[1]extreme difficulty getting out of bed in the morning

[2]lying awake and worrying about the day ahead

[3]put off until the day after tomorrow

[4]spending lavish amounts of money on food

[5]someone who always conveniently shows up with no money

[6]having a hangover, but without admitting to actually drinking

[7]lying wrapped up, and in a comfortable manner

[8]a confused mixture, hodgepodge

[9]neither well nor unwell

[10]the uncomfortable feeling of wearing new underwear

[11]people who are angry or unhappy with their govern­ment

[12]government by the least qualified or worst people

[13]shrewd, unprincipled persons, especially politicians

[14]people who give opinions on subjects about which they know nothing

[15]pretend to work while actually doing nothing

[16]gossip idly about unimportant things

[17]irresistible urge to do something inadvisable

[18]to bribe or induce (someone) unlawfully or secretly to perform some misdeed or commit a crime. to induce (a person) to give false testimony

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